


Two Birds

by Marqania



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: For Both Pairs, Further Tagging Would Have Contained Spoilers, Gen, I Say It's Friendship, Other, Other Fandoms Not Mentioned in Tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-22
Updated: 2015-08-22
Packaged: 2018-04-16 14:45:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4629189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marqania/pseuds/Marqania
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Eggsy reconnoiter at a party and end up with potential recruits.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Birds

**Author's Note:**

> Wait - really, I have to state that I don't own Kingsman? Or any fictional work that I've used in this crossover?
> 
> Because of course I own Kingsman. And the deleted scenes are mine, all mine!
> 
> ...Hey, I liked that door you broke down, mysterious man in a suit. And why are those cuffs not fuzzy?

“Galahad at your ten, Gawain,” came Merlin’s voice soft in Eggsy’s ear.

Eggsy grinned up at Harry from his post, which was arse-up on a dominatrix’s lap. “Timothy! Enjoying your night?”

“More than I thought I would, actually.” He smiled casually at the wild-haired schoolgirl on his arm. “May we join you, Philip?”

“Of course,” said Eggsy’s young woman, before landing a swat on his buttock. “What did I say about speaking without permission?”

“Sorry, sorry,” Eggsy said unrepentantly, biting his lips around a laugh as another few swats landed. “Don’t spill my drink while you’re spanking me, eh love?”

Harry nearly rolled his eyes. “Thank you. I hope we haven’t interrupted anything.”

“Not at all, Mr.…”

“Timothy Holcroft. A pleasure to meet you, Miss…?”

“Kelly.” Red lips parted around neat white teeth as she took a sip from Eggsy’s glass. “I see you’ve met our Annabelle.”

“Mm. Charming girl, though I’m not certain why she keeps calling me Minister.” Harry stood aside to let the girl slide onto the long, curved seat next to her friend. 

Eggsy shot her a grin as Harry sat, which the girl returned with a slow cross of her stockinged legs. “Lovin’ this view.” 

_Swat._ “Is your boy always so impertinent?”

“Only when he wants a spanking.” Harry made himself more comfortable, stretching out just enough to brush the fabric of his trousers against the girl’s dangerously sharp stilettos.

Eggsy’s grin widened as he watched the other couple start the world’s most subtle game of footsie. “Looks like your girl might want one too.” The swats against his buttocks grew sharper.

“Naughty. What brings you here, Mr. Holcroft?”

“Powerful gentlemen and pretty young women, of course.” Harry pointed a shoe at Eggsy, caressing the girl’s ankle as he lowered his foot. “And you, Mr. Anderson?” Eggsy shrugged, wiggling with audacious good cheer as the woman rewarded him with a petting stroke to his thigh. 

“Silence from you, Philip? What a momentous achievement, my dear young lady!” Harry turned his smile to their ladyfriends. “You’ve both given me such a blissful reprieve from business, not to mention this young lout’s brashness.” He leaned well into the girl’s space, while addressing himself to the woman as well. “It would it be terribly caddish of me to request the additional pleasure of your sweet voices, and yet I humbly,” Harry flickered a dangerous look into the young woman’s eyes, “ _beg_ your indulgence.” 

“Ooh.” The girl ran a finger along Harry’s jaw, tipping his gaze into hers. “Isn’t Daddy such a sweet-talker.”

Harry felt the woman’s eyes on him, like static on his neck. “Be rude of us to refuse, when he’s asked so very nicely.”

The girl pouted. “He was rude first, ignoring me.” 

Harry turned his face just so, to catch her finger on the corner of his lips. “Deeply sorry to have offended you.” He smiled in satisfaction as the girl blushed at the movement. And at Eggsy’s gape-faced awe in his peripheral vision, with the knowledge that the young man was taking furious mental notes.

Having accepted the apology, the two young ladies launched into frivolous gossip, as prompted. Their talk ranged from the expected banal small-talk cattiness of schoolgirls to the oddly familial small-talk cattiness of dear friends. Harry chuckled quietly in the right places, letting his companion feel the thrum of his laugh at her side; and offered the quiet questions of a casual bystander, breathing them in his girl’s ear. Eggsy made inappropriate comments whenever his young woman grew tense, and wiggled eagerly under each progressively harder smack.

Kelly was the first one to drop the pretense. “Right. What are you two on about?”

“I’m sure I don’t know - ”

“Drop it, _daddy,_ ” Annabelle scolded. “Don’t think we haven’t noticed how the both of you’ve caged us.” They had, of course - with Eggsy’s full weight on Kelly’s thighs and the barrier of Harry’s legs in front of Annabelle’s.

“And you’re trawling for info on the quiet.” Kelly ignored the bunching of Eggsy’s muscles in the claw of her grip. “Even your making it fun’s a cover-up.”

“You couldn’t have just asked?” Annabelle’s coquettish voice was countered by the dig of her heel into Harry’s shin.

“Busted, Timmy.” Eggsy tried not to pout when the spanking didn’t come. “Oi.”

“ _Busted_ implies that we were caught in a lie. Ladies, I can assure you both that our intentions are exactly as I stated.”

The stiletto dug deeper. “Pretty words from a clever daddy.”

Harry’s smile turned from casually pained to almost approvingly pained. He nodded into his glass, the movement a bow. “Tell me about that gentleman,” he directed, pointing his gaze discreetly at a badly-disguised MP.

 

 

A young woman with honey-brown hair arrived at the school the following season to replace their beloved Miss Cleaver, who was cruelly dispatched by an unfortunate duck’s head to the throat. The suspicious schoolgirls watched her write _Miss Morton_ in flowing letters on the chalkboard. 

“Good morning, everyone.” Roxy lifted a semi-automatic rifle. “Shall we get started?”

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven’t looked him up yet, that pretty little douchebag Charlie Hesketh is played by Edward Holcroft. No offense to the man, but if that isn’t a silver-spoon-up-the-arse name, I don’t know what is.
> 
> Also, if you haven’t watched St. Trinian’s yet, reader… _Go. Cackle. Enjoy. NCF!_
> 
> Also also, if the point of the movie at which Annabelle entered St. Trinian's is in her second-to-last year of school, she'd be about 17.
> 
> Also also also, I’ve only just read bits of info about the sequel. _I swear I didn’t know that about Kelly's bit in the sequel before I wrote, really!_ No, really, no sarcasm font.
> 
> Also also also also, edited to tidy up.


End file.
